The aftermath of the Haiti earthquake is on all of our minds this past couple of weeks. The earthquake exacerbated the already poor country's ills beyond our limited ability to comprehend! Jennifer wrote about their family response to the tragedy. What a great learning experience for children to participate in the relief efforts.

But poverty in the world is not limited to those areas that are experiencing natural disasters. They do get a lot of our attention, but we need to remain aware that poverty is a world problem - all the time! After the Vietnam War we were part of a church group that sponsored several Mien refugee families from Laos. At the time we signed up, we had just added our third child to our already- busy family and I wasn't sure we would be able to be involved deeply. How would we juggle the many balls we already had in the air and add this new commitment?

What I wasn't prepared for was the impact this involvement would have on our family. Over the years we became friends with many Laotians - first in teaching them the ways of the U.S. - then eating in their homes, loving their children and extended families, helping them find jobs, and expanding our own view of the world. Rather than taking time away from family to "serve," our entire family was a part of the team.

My husband and I have just returned from a trip to El Salvador. This was my 4th trip to the village in El Salvador that we support through our church's involvement with Agros International. It's called "Journey with a Village" and our team spent time working alongside the people, playing games, laughing, eating, sharing Veggie Tales movies, holding babies, and witnessing a signing ceremony as two more village families gain ownership of the land they have worked hard to own! It was an amazing experience. Check out this slide show of one of our trips!

This relationship with El Salvador has come about after our children have all grown. We would love to have shared this kind of trip as a family, but that wasn't possible for us at the time we were raising our children. If it is a possibility for you, do consider taking your school-aged or older children along on this kind of adventure! What an amazing experience it would be for them and what a great way for your family to talk about the world and its problems. It also helps children gain more perspective on material possessions and our place in the global economy.

Have you, or anyone you know, undertaken such an adventure? If so, please let us know! I'm very curious to hear how a family with older children who could volunteer alongside their parents found such an experience as a family and as individuals.

If a family trip isn't possible for you, please do consider other ways that your family can get involved locally. Don't look on "serving" as something you do without your family - find a way to involve everyone.

Like most of the rest of the world, we've been watching the news of the earthquake in Haiti and its aftermath with a mixture of sadness and concern and an urge to do something to help. I've been trying to think of ways to help the situation in Haiti and to make our response meaningful to the mind of our five-year-old daughter, Zella. First and foremost, of course, we wanted to help - but in doing so, we wanted to help in a way that she could comprehend and appreciate, to prepare her for responses of her own.

We considered donating money, but because she wouldn't be personally involved in providing the assistance, it probably wouldn't mean much to her. Then an email came through one of my local homeschooling lists about a group, local to us, that was collecting new clothes to send to Haiti. Jeremiah and I talked about it and decided that we'd take Z with us to Target to pick out some children's clothes to send to Haiti. Target always has a lot of clothing on clearance and we figured it was a good way to get the most out of our clothes-buying dollars.

We don't watch TV news in our household, so all of the news Z gets comes from NPR or from topics we bring up with her in conversation. On the way to Target, I explained what happened in Haiti, a combination of plate tectonics 101 (a lesson we've given half a dozen times) and how the plates shook and the buildings fell down and people - including many children - were without food or water or clothes to wear. (Poverty makes sense to a five-year-old; the tragic death toll we will leave aside for much later.) Z's gut reaction was to send them food but of course, that's much more difficult to do.

Z and I hit the sales rack at Target and managed to get twenty or so items of clothing to donate, including pants, shirts, dresses, and onesies in lots of different sizes. Most of them were 75% off.

Z helped me pick out the clothes, counting how many we'd put in our basket and proudly declaring that we were "superheros today" for helping the children. She had a high level of excitement and an obvious sense of pride. We've donated our ZRecs review products for years, and have done our best to make a big deal about it around the holidays so she understands that the toys we are passing on are going to kids whose parents don't have the money to buy them toys at Christmas. But this time she was excited, I could feel that she understood what we were doing to help people who are in desperate need. Whether it's an age thing or because she was directly involved in helping to pick out the items to give, I'm not sure, but we're going to do this again.

What forms of charitable giving or of helping others have proven the most meaningful for your children? How do you make it more "real" for them?

I wrote about anxiety not too long ago in a post about stress and its effect on children. But I have been feeling the need to write more about anxiety. PBS just aired 6 hours worth of programming on how we function as human beings called This Emotional Life. The second segment, "Facing Our Fears," contains valuable information on anxiety and coping skills and I would recommend it to all.

But my reason for writing about anxiety is a little closer to home. One of my family members admitted to me that she is experiencing anxiety attacks in these troubled economic times. Since I have had a lot of experience with anxiety, I am "anxious" to find a way to make life easier for her!

One of the things that has been most useful to me in my understanding of anxiety is the following equation: Panic = Increased Perception of Danger divided by Decreased Belief in Coping Skills and Resources

In order to get over panic, first it is essential that you decrease the perception of danger. To do so, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Are these symptoms I'm feeling truly dangerous?


2. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen?


3. Am I telling myself anything that is making this worse?


4. What is the most supportive thing I could do for myself right now?

Second, however, you must also increase your belief in your coping skills and resources. Following is a list of helpful hints for beginning that process. I picked this list up somewhere along the way, but can't remember who should be credited.

• Remember that although your feelings and symptoms are frightening, they are neither dangerous nor harmful.


• Understand that what you're experiencing is merely an exaggeration of your normal reactions to stress.


• Don't fight your feelings or try to wish them away. The more willing you are to face them, the less intense they will become. (See my post on Body Talk)


• Don't add to your panic by thinking about what might happen. If you find yourself wondering, "What if?" tell yourself, "So what!"


• Stay in the present. Notice what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.


• Label your fear level from zero to 10 and watch it go up and down. Notice that it doesn't stay at a very high level for more than a few seconds.


• When you find yourself thinking about fear, focus on and perform some simple, manageable task. (or wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap yourself to remind yourself to think of something else).


• Notice that when you stop thinking frightening thoughts, your anxiety fades.


• Ground yourself. Touch the floor or some other object.


• When fear comes, accept it; don't fight it. Wait and give it time to pass.


• Be proud of the progress you've made. Think about how good you will feel when the anxiety has passed and you are in total control and at peace.

Finally, rehearse your new behaviors. Write down some of your fears on one side of a 3x5 card and write your coping response on the other side. Begin to take control of your anxiety and watch it disappear!