So many women share with us that once they become mothers, a good night's sleep is a distant memory. At first, pregnancy hormones and body discomfort disrupt sleep, then the early days of postpartum bring many wakings from baby. But many mothers report insomnia lasting a couple of years after their child's birth. Which begs the question: Once baby starts to sleep, how can mama make sure she can get to a good night's sleep again as soon as possible?

We interviewed licensed psychologist Jan DeRoest for some practical tips for new moms. She offers a workshop called Everything you wanted to know about sleep but were too tired to ask.

The Tranquil Parent: What happens to a mother’s sleep once she has a baby?

Jan DeRoest: Research indicates the first month postpartum has the greatest amount of reported sleep problems, even more so for first-time mothers. Usually there is a gradual increase in sleep time over the next 2-4 months as the infant's circadian rhythms mature. Breast feeding has been shown to increase slow-wave (restorative) sleep, possibly due to some connection with prolactin.

Often women get overtired from these first few months of many night wakings and lose their own routine of healthy sleep. Also, hormones take time to regulate after having a baby, especially if you are breastfeeding.

TTP: What is the difference between “normal” sleep challenges and true insomnia?

DeRoest: Insomnia is considered chronic when it persists for over a month. About 10 to 15 percent of adults report chronic insomnia. Stress or worry is thought to cause about 50 percent of insomnia. Other causes can include pain, digestive problems, sleep disorders (sleep apnea, restless legs, narcolepsy, etc.), depression, anxiety and some medications. Symptoms of insomnia can include difficulty falling or staying asleep, waking frequently at night, being unable to return to sleep, waking too early in the morning, unrefreshing sleep, daytime sleepiness, difficulty concentrating and irritability. If sleep problems persist for a few weeks or more, or if you experience distress and discomfort as a result of insomnia, you should consult a doctor. Bring a record of your sleep, levels of fatigue during the day, and any other symptoms you may be having.

TTP: What can mama do to finally get some sleep, once her baby is sleeping well?

DeRoest: Some ways to help promote sleep include:

• Good sleep hygiene - use the bedroom only for sleep and sex


• Establish a regular bedtime and bedtime routine and stick to it


• Get up at the same time every morning


• Make sure the bedroom is quiet, cool, dark and comfortable


• Don’t consume caffeine, nicotine or alcohol late in the day


• Exercise every day but not within three hours of bedtime


• Avoid daytime naps


• Avoid heavy meals several hours before bedtime, but a light snack before bed (like a couple of crackers with milk) may help some people


• Take warm baths/showers approximately one hour before bed

TTP: What are some natural techniques that help for sleep problems?

DeRoest: There are many natural techniques that can help with sleep!

Here are some that are reported to work:

• Relaxation exercises, guided imagery, meditation, hypnosis and biofeedback


• Stimulus control (only go to bed when sleepy, get out of bed when awake more then 15 minutes, do something boring, return to bed only when sleepy)


• Acupressure and acupuncture


• Aromatherapy (especially jasmine and lavender)


• Chamomile tea (no scientific evidence that it works, but lots of anecdotal testimony that it does help)


• Light therapy (use of certain light frequencies to shift your circadian rhythms back to day/night)

Medications/herbal remedies include:

• Antihistamines (Diphenhydramine/Benadryl, Chlorpheniramine, Lortadine)


• Melatonin (naturally secreted by the pineal gland in brain, works with circadian rhythms – best for jetlag)


• Kava (member of the pepper family, possesses centrally-acting skeletal muscle relaxant, anticonvulsant properties)


• Valerian (adverse effects can include abdominal pain, chest tightness, tremors, lightheadedness)


• Passion flower


• Skullcap

But please consult your care provider before trying any medications or herbal remedies.

Jan also offered the following recommended resources for more information:

• National Sleep Foundation


• Sleep Medicine Network


• Max Hirshkowitz, PhD & Patricia Smith,Sleep Disorders for Dummies

Jan DeRoest, Psy.D. can be reached at jderoest@comcast.net if you have more questions. If you are in Portland, Oregon, she offers workshops locally.

Does your young child enjoy making up elaborate tales about what did (or did not) happen? Do you ever find your toddler “reading” a book to himself, remembering words or making up his own? Do your kids want to hear the same family stories over and over and over?

Do you ever feel concerned that they are “living in a dreamland” or not learning to tell the “truth”?

The good news is: They are normal! Storytelling is a natural part of our human experience. Young children learn from connecting with us through storytelling, both from reading and verbally. And they don’t always know how to distinguish a “true” story from one that is “made up.”

When your children tell you stories, listen for the truth in their words, even when some of the story is not “true.” They are sharing with you their desires, experiences and interpretations. There is so much to learn from the way they playfully interact with the world!

As early human beings, it was our verbal abilities and storytelling (creating of culture) that distinguished us from other species. We told stories to create a sense of belonging, to define meaning and to preserve our shared values.

I recently read a lovely essay written by a mother who began reading to her daughter as a newborn. She was delighted to discover that this ritual of reading and re-reading stories gives her daughter the confidence to tell her own stories. "Her six-year-old voice transforms into a seasoned storyteller, intoning mystery, suspense, humor, even love, as she reads aloud," Leslie Constans wrote.

Who are the little storytellers in your home? Tell us about what you are doing to support them in learning this important skill.

As parents, many of us have experienced this moment: You say cheerfully to your toddler or young child, “it is time to brush your teeth!” and reach for the brush and toothpaste.

“Noooo….” she howls, running out of the bathroom. Or you are greeted with a tightly closed mouth and a sullen face. Nothing you say or do seems to matter. This kid just does not want to brush her teeth. So what do you do?

Maybe you get frustrated and begin the battle. You try to coerce and convince. You chase them around the house, brush in hand. Maybe you get so frustrated (and attached to your idea that it has to happen now) that you pry their little mouth open and brush them anyway, fighting against their resistance.

If you have done any of those things, you probably know it doesn’t feel very good!

You care about your children’s health. You want them to have strong teeth and minimal dental procedures. Brushing their teeth is an act of love, so of course you want it to be loving. Also, you don’t want them to have negative associations with an activity (oral hygiene) that they need to take care of their whole lives.

I recently chatted with some other moms who, like me, are committed to having a respectful, cooperative relationship with their children. Here are some ideas that came out of the conversation about working with kids when they do not want to brush their teeth:

1. Be playful! Find a fun puppet who enjoys brushing teeth and make it a game. Consider buying several toothbrushes with different themes and let your child choose. Use funny voices or songs to make it more interesting. Invite your child to brush your teeth first and then switch and brush theirs!


2. Offer options. Ask your child where he would like to brush his teeth, sometimes changing rooms can be helpful. We sometimes bush our toddler's teeth in bed. If the child is really resisting using the toothbrush, wipe their teeth with a washcloth. Often you can get them just as clean and the change makes it more agreeable. Xylitol toothpastes are another option that can work really well.


3. Share information. By age two, many children can understand some of the reasons behind teeth brushing. Saying simply “we need to get your teeth clean,” might be enough. Or, if you want to give more details, you can explain how little bugs (bacteria) get on teeth and eat tiny holes into them, causing pain. They may want to clean off the bugs! Don't share this if you feel it might scare your more sensitive child.


4. Be flexible! Realize that skipping one night of brushing is not going to be the end of the world. If your little one really needs to say “no” then let it go for a night. You might find much more resistance the next night if you force the issue! If you do skip a brushing, invite your child to rinse their mouth with water or teach them to swish water around in their mouths. They will probably love spitting it out in the bathtub! The most important thing is to put more attention into what they are telling you through their resistance rather than focusing on "getting it done."


5. Create a routine. Many children do not resist toothbrushing if it is part of the nightly ritual from early on when the first teeth appear. Be casual about it, like it’s just one of the things done each night, like putting on pajamas and reading a book. This has been a successful approach in our home.


What works in your home to make teeth brushing easier?