Do you ever have a parenting week when you feel like someone shoved a great big wrench right into your finely orchestrated plans? You are busy and you have it all mapped out just right. It is a delicate game, but you are certain you can do it all.

Until.

A kid gets sick, a pet runs away, a partner gets laid off... We have all had things happen right at the wrong time.

Two weeks ago, my toddler had a bike accident and broke his foot. It ended up being a minor injury that could have been much worse so we felt very grateful. He is not in much pain and is hobbling around on his cast quite well.

But it was just not the week for an accident. I was already behind with work, we had plans to go to the coast for a relaxing weekend of sand and water (cue the evil laugh) and our budget right now does not include all the medical bills.

I should just be happy he is okay, but I can't help but get frustrated about the timing.

Until the end of the week, when I took him to his little preschool, feeling relieved that he could play for four hours so I could complete four writing pieces and answer about 300 emails.

But he would not let me leave him at the school.

He was clingy and wanted me to hold him. I couldn’t get him connected to his teachers or playing with his peers. After staying for two hours to help him settle in, we left when he finally said: "I want to go home," with tears in his eyes.

All my work would have to wait. My little guy had a major trauma this week. He was injured, rode in an ambulance and is hobbling around in a heavy cast. He is feeling vulnerable and needs me.

I took some deep breaths and made a new plan. I let go of some things I thought I should do. I asked for help from my partner in getting some time to work in the evening. And, I decided to share my story with you instead of the more complicated post I was planning.

When I ask myself what is really important to me, I know that my loved ones come before my to-do list.

How about you? What do you do when your big plans are derailed?

Have you ever met a parent who allows free access to sweets and desserts for their children? It isn't likely - most parents feel it is important to restrict their child's sugar intake in one way or another, with the goal of teaching smart, long-term feeding behaviors about food.

But what if the opposite was true? What if giving your children unlimited access to sweets and desserts would set them up for lasting healthy relationships with these foods? As a pediatric dietitian, I am not necessarily condoning this approach, but just asking you to consider it. And I'll be testing this theory with my own 2.5-year-old daughter in my own home - but more on that in a minute.

Several years ago, I attended an unforgettable lecture given by James, a childhood feeding expert. Although I can't remember the exact title of the lecture or the speaker’s last name, I do recall one specific story that he shared with the audience. James told us about his son, age 10 at the time, and his peculiar eating habits at home. He went onto to explain that when his son was just a toddler, James decided to create a "sweets drawer" at home, which was always easily accessible for kids. He filled this drawer with all types of typically restricted desserts - chocolate bars, candy, cookies, sodas, etc. And for the first week after the snack drawer was created, James' son went crazy and stuffed himself full with these sweet treats. But after only one week, he started to notice that his son was paying much less attention to the sweets.

Ten years after creating this drawer, James couldn't be happier about his decision to create the sweets drawer so many years ago. He asked the audience to guess who ate 99% of those sweets in the drawer in the years that followed? The answer: All of his son’s friends! Most of the time, other children couldn't believe that such a thing even existed and they went crazy to come over to his house! James went onto to elaborate on the concept that restricting foods, for kids and adults alike, often increases the desire for it.

I can't make up my mind how I feel about this approach for my child, but it is an interesting concept. What do you think?

Growing up in my family, we were not allowed to drink soda pop. Every once in a blue moon, my mom allowed us to have a caffeine-free root beer. But on my first day of high school, I found the vending machine in the hallway and learned that you could take soda to class with you - I thought I had died and gone to heaven! So guess what I did? I drank a Dr. Pepper every single early morning of my freshman year in high school! And this begs the question - what if my mom had given me soda pop just once a week as a child? Would I still have overconsumed these sugary drinks as a teenager? It is a really tough one to answer!

In 1999, the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition published a study on this sweets and sugar restrictions among the families of preschool-aged children. According to this study, if you restrict children's access to "forbidden" foods, it may lead to overindulgence later.

When my daughter turned one year old, I started to think a lot more about this concept. Should I create a drawer like this?

Intuitively, it simply doesn’t feel right to stash a bunch of junk food into a kitchen cabinet and give her free access to it. But I also want her to grow up with a healthy approach towards all foods, particularly the nutritional nightmare foods. But, believe it or not…I am going to try it for my now 2.5-year-old daughter. It will just be a trial, and I can’t promise that I will keep the drawer forever, but I will do it as a test run for all of you. (And I am still going to be diligent about preparing balanced, nutritious meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner). For two weeks, I will also give her unlimited access to desserts when we are outside of the home. And of course, I will let you know how it goes!

When you were a kid, how was dessert time handled in your family? How do you think that impacted your relationship with food today? And how do you handle desserts in your home now?

As parents, many of us have experienced this moment: You say cheerfully to your toddler or young child, “it is time to brush your teeth!” and reach for the brush and toothpaste.

“Noooo….” she howls, running out of the bathroom. Or you are greeted with a tightly closed mouth and a sullen face. Nothing you say or do seems to matter. This kid just does not want to brush her teeth. So what do you do?

Maybe you get frustrated and begin the battle. You try to coerce and convince. You chase them around the house, brush in hand. Maybe you get so frustrated (and attached to your idea that it has to happen now) that you pry their little mouth open and brush them anyway, fighting against their resistance.

If you have done any of those things, you probably know it doesn’t feel very good!

You care about your children’s health. You want them to have strong teeth and minimal dental procedures. Brushing their teeth is an act of love, so of course you want it to be loving. Also, you don’t want them to have negative associations with an activity (oral hygiene) that they need to take care of their whole lives.

I recently chatted with some other moms who, like me, are committed to having a respectful, cooperative relationship with their children. Here are some ideas that came out of the conversation about working with kids when they do not want to brush their teeth:

1. Be playful! Find a fun puppet who enjoys brushing teeth and make it a game. Consider buying several toothbrushes with different themes and let your child choose. Use funny voices or songs to make it more interesting. Invite your child to brush your teeth first and then switch and brush theirs!


2. Offer options. Ask your child where he would like to brush his teeth, sometimes changing rooms can be helpful. We sometimes bush our toddler's teeth in bed. If the child is really resisting using the toothbrush, wipe their teeth with a washcloth. Often you can get them just as clean and the change makes it more agreeable. Xylitol toothpastes are another option that can work really well.


3. Share information. By age two, many children can understand some of the reasons behind teeth brushing. Saying simply “we need to get your teeth clean,” might be enough. Or, if you want to give more details, you can explain how little bugs (bacteria) get on teeth and eat tiny holes into them, causing pain. They may want to clean off the bugs! Don't share this if you feel it might scare your more sensitive child.


4. Be flexible! Realize that skipping one night of brushing is not going to be the end of the world. If your little one really needs to say “no” then let it go for a night. You might find much more resistance the next night if you force the issue! If you do skip a brushing, invite your child to rinse their mouth with water or teach them to swish water around in their mouths. They will probably love spitting it out in the bathtub! The most important thing is to put more attention into what they are telling you through their resistance rather than focusing on "getting it done."


5. Create a routine. Many children do not resist toothbrushing if it is part of the nightly ritual from early on when the first teeth appear. Be casual about it, like it’s just one of the things done each night, like putting on pajamas and reading a book. This has been a successful approach in our home.


What works in your home to make teeth brushing easier?