As parents, many of us have experienced this moment: You say cheerfully to your toddler or young child, “it is time to brush your teeth!” and reach for the brush and toothpaste.

“Noooo….” she howls, running out of the bathroom. Or you are greeted with a tightly closed mouth and a sullen face. Nothing you say or do seems to matter. This kid just does not want to brush her teeth. So what do you do?

Maybe you get frustrated and begin the battle. You try to coerce and convince. You chase them around the house, brush in hand. Maybe you get so frustrated (and attached to your idea that it has to happen now) that you pry their little mouth open and brush them anyway, fighting against their resistance.

If you have done any of those things, you probably know it doesn’t feel very good!

You care about your children’s health. You want them to have strong teeth and minimal dental procedures. Brushing their teeth is an act of love, so of course you want it to be loving. Also, you don’t want them to have negative associations with an activity (oral hygiene) that they need to take care of their whole lives.

I recently chatted with some other moms who, like me, are committed to having a respectful, cooperative relationship with their children. Here are some ideas that came out of the conversation about working with kids when they do not want to brush their teeth:

1. Be playful! Find a fun puppet who enjoys brushing teeth and make it a game. Consider buying several toothbrushes with different themes and let your child choose. Use funny voices or songs to make it more interesting. Invite your child to brush your teeth first and then switch and brush theirs!


2. Offer options. Ask your child where he would like to brush his teeth, sometimes changing rooms can be helpful. We sometimes bush our toddler's teeth in bed. If the child is really resisting using the toothbrush, wipe their teeth with a washcloth. Often you can get them just as clean and the change makes it more agreeable. Xylitol toothpastes are another option that can work really well.


3. Share information. By age two, many children can understand some of the reasons behind teeth brushing. Saying simply “we need to get your teeth clean,” might be enough. Or, if you want to give more details, you can explain how little bugs (bacteria) get on teeth and eat tiny holes into them, causing pain. They may want to clean off the bugs! Don't share this if you feel it might scare your more sensitive child.


4. Be flexible! Realize that skipping one night of brushing is not going to be the end of the world. If your little one really needs to say “no” then let it go for a night. You might find much more resistance the next night if you force the issue! If you do skip a brushing, invite your child to rinse their mouth with water or teach them to swish water around in their mouths. They will probably love spitting it out in the bathtub! The most important thing is to put more attention into what they are telling you through their resistance rather than focusing on "getting it done."


5. Create a routine. Many children do not resist toothbrushing if it is part of the nightly ritual from early on when the first teeth appear. Be casual about it, like it’s just one of the things done each night, like putting on pajamas and reading a book. This has been a successful approach in our home.


What works in your home to make teeth brushing easier?

Whether you're a new parent or an old hand, your home's bathrooms can pose safety hazards to kids of all ages. There are hundreds of bathroom safety products marketed to caregivers of tiny babies. Most of them fall under the "scare the crap out of unsuspecting, overwhelmed and sleep-deprived parents" category, but some are actually helpful. Every family will have their own take on their bathroom scene, but here's a quick lowdown of the safety-driven products and practices I've found useful, and useless.

Useful to me

• Tear-free shampoo, soap, and conditioner at all times


• Safety locks for under-sink and medicine cabinets or even the entire bathroom door (can just be a simple hook and eye if up high enough)


• Environmentally friendly cleaners (including the old standbys, baking soda and vinegar) so I don't have to worry about whether the tub's been rinsed out a thousand times...or if my toddler thinks he's a Lab puppy


• Keeping adult personal care products completely separate from kid stuff if possible (up high, in a separate cabinet or bathroom)


• Making sure vitamins stay locked up (those with iron are the top lethal poisoner for the under-six set) and shooting for a healthy diet first and foremost


• Storing a black cloth with the first aid kit so if someone's got a scrape, red, fresh blood seepage doesn't undercut my "You are FINE" rhetoric

Useless to me

• Toilet locks. Kids can drown in three inches of water. If I'm letting them play in the bathroom unattended I have bigger problems than whether or not Junior's swishing my mellow yellow around the bowl.


• Temperature sensors. Since when could I not tell how hot the bathwater was by using my hand?


• Baby bathtubs. We used our kitchen sink and then sat in the tub with our babies until they were about a year old, while this product sat unused, and a lot of research points to these actually leading to greater risks, as parents have a false sense of security and step away from their bathing beauty.


• Skid mats. We had variants of these off and on but realized after a few years that a stern "SIT DOWN or you have to get out of the tub" works more effectively than any product.

Now, if I could only keep the floor dry so my kids don't wipe out. Stop that splashing, y'all!

What do you swear by, and what could you do without, when it comes to bathroom safety?