Does your young child enjoy making up elaborate tales about what did (or did not) happen? Do you ever find your toddler “reading” a book to himself, remembering words or making up his own? Do your kids want to hear the same family stories over and over and over?

Do you ever feel concerned that they are “living in a dreamland” or not learning to tell the “truth”?

The good news is: They are normal! Storytelling is a natural part of our human experience. Young children learn from connecting with us through storytelling, both from reading and verbally. And they don’t always know how to distinguish a “true” story from one that is “made up.”

When your children tell you stories, listen for the truth in their words, even when some of the story is not “true.” They are sharing with you their desires, experiences and interpretations. There is so much to learn from the way they playfully interact with the world!

As early human beings, it was our verbal abilities and storytelling (creating of culture) that distinguished us from other species. We told stories to create a sense of belonging, to define meaning and to preserve our shared values.

I recently read a lovely essay written by a mother who began reading to her daughter as a newborn. She was delighted to discover that this ritual of reading and re-reading stories gives her daughter the confidence to tell her own stories. "Her six-year-old voice transforms into a seasoned storyteller, intoning mystery, suspense, humor, even love, as she reads aloud," Leslie Constans wrote.

Who are the little storytellers in your home? Tell us about what you are doing to support them in learning this important skill.

Did you let the New Year pass you by without a resolution or two, because you've tried tried and failed to keep them in the past? It isn't too late to let the New Year be a time for renewal, and I'd like to share an idea with you that can help you set yourself for success, rather than failure: Family resolutions.

As parents, you can take this opportunity to set some positive New Year's resolutions with your family. It may seem daunting to create resolutions as a family when the individual ones can be so hard to sustain, but the secret is that family goals may be easier to keep!

The process of setting goals as a family is unique because it is based on a collective vision rather than an individual desire. While an individual's resolution can often come from a feeling of self-judgment (I am overweight or don't make enough money), family goals can be more positive and affirming. Also, the group intentions behind family goals can make them more powerful and sustaining. Research has shown that the number one trick to achieving goals is accountability.

Create your family resolution

1. Set up a time for a family meeting when each member has energy to participate. Serve snacks and make it fun! Have some paper and pens handy for taking notes.


2. Reflect on your shared values and priorities. Have each person list what is important to them and notice similarities. Make the list for younger children by asking them and taking notes.


3. Give everyone (even the youngest member) a voice. If the youngest member is a pre-verbal baby, consider what he or she might feel about the idea. For example, if the topic is reserving one evening a week for the family to do something fun, how would baby benefit from this?


4. Prioritize your shared values as a group.


5. Decide together which priorities most need improvement and set a goal for what you would like to see different in 2009. Write your goal down and post it in a visible place in your home.


6. Review obstacles that usually get in the way of this goal. Make a plan for dealing with them as they come up. For example, if the goal is to have dinner together three nights per week but one family member is often called away for last-minute meetings, how will you handle this situation when it arises?

Some popular family goals

• Take a family trip to a fun location.


• Sit down at least x evenings per week with every member present to dinner.


• Volunteer x hours next year to a cause that represents the family’s values.


• Make reasonable changes towards sustainability. Take the bus to school, ride bikes together to the library or set up a better recycling system.


• Create a family savings plan with a specific amount reserved for education.


• Take a fun class together or have a local family adventure once per month.


• Exercise together as a family once per week.

Making your goal work

This is the challenging part! You have created a goal for your family; now how to do you put it into action? This is where most people lose momentum in their resolutions. A key to making a goal successful is to make it achievable. Often resolutions don’t work because they are missing one of the key elements to success. Review our post on setting yourself up for success with better goal-setting to make sure your goal is SMART and ensure you can achieve it!

The benefits of family goal-setting

The rewards to setting and achieving family goals are numerous. By working together as a group, family members get to know each other in a new way and discuss topics that might not usually come up. Younger children learn about success and healthy communication by being a part of the entire process. Also, by reviewing values and priorities together, the family spends time focusing on what really matters and feels a united sense of purpose and direction. This can be an incredible bonding process!

Remember to review goals often and be flexible. If it isn't working, don’t give up. Go back through the steps and make changes so that your goal is more reasonable. This will teach your family how to work together and be adaptable!

Parts of this post originally appeared as an article by Savannah Mayfield in Portland Family Magazine, December 2007 and reprinted with permission.

On a trip home to Spokane, Washington, my friend Kate found an amazing, handmade mouse house at an estate sale. The house a transformed wooden box - probably an old gift box whose striped interior may have inspired the creation of the domicile. I imagine that a grandmother lovingly made the house for her grandchild, carefully sewing the mice (and a rabbit and small bear) tiny clothes (with trimmed hats and changes of clothes), wrapping little boxes in tinfoil and labeling them "peanut butter," "sugar crystals" and "ham sandwich," and constructing a canopied bed and vanity protruding from the wall. She found the tiniest painted china tea set I've ever seen to sit on a little sideboard, and included a set of metal outdoor furniture, and bunches of flowers for a garden. There’s even a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket and a tiny Christmas wreath for seasonal celebration. I wanted to share this little treasure with you. It’s not perfect at all - and so it's such a relief from holiday expectations. Maybe it will inspire you to make your own, imperfect and magical miniature home for (or with) a child.

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