Are We Having Fun Yet Well Why Not || The Tranquil Parent

Are we having fun yet? Well, why not?

By Savannah happier

July 17, 2009

Photo by woodleywonderworks, shared via Flickr.

My toddler has a wooden train set with many pieces - tracks, tunnels, magnetic trains. This morning, he dragged the little box down to the carpet and invited me to “play trains.” As we began to clip the piece together, I noticed myself thinking ahead. What is the best way to build the train so that we use all the tracks and it clips in a neat circle? Will we finish it before I need to leave for work in 30 minutes?

But he was only enjoying the experience of moving the tracks around. He took several minutes to consider where he wanted to place one set of tracks, not even thinking about how it would look when he was done. As I watched the train set evolve, I felt some worry about how it was going in two directions like long snake rather than a nice, even circle. How would the train drive around these tracks?

He yelled when I went to move some tracks, explaining to him that they would work better in another direction. “No, this way!” he insisted.

The train never came together before I left for work. It was a long, strangely shaped set of tracks, leading to nowhere. But, he didn’t care. He gleefully drove the trains over the tracks and crashed them into a pile when the track ended. “Bang!” he exclaimed.

As I was driving to work, I thought about the beauty of living this way. What if I just enjoyed myself in whatever I was doing without being so concerned about whether I was doing it “right” or if it would end up the way I intended?

For my son, the end result was playful and fun. He made a creative mess out of his trains and completely enjoyed the 20 minutes of building the tracks.

As adults, we live in a culture that demands that we think ahead, plan every moment and make sure we are meeting expectations (ours and those of everyone around us). And often we do need to focus and be productive. But as parents, we have these small little teachers to remind us to relax and enjoy the journey too. They certainly enjoy us more when we do.

What can you enjoy today without worrying about the outcome?

Categories: activities, creativity, family, humor, pretend play, time management

3 comments | Comment on post

3 Comments

1. Tiffany [7/20/09]

My son plays trains all the time, although often not on the tracks themselves. We use Geotrax, and he loves to drive the trains on the tracks with their controllers, interacting with the buildings, the people, and all his other toys that come over to play as well. But nearly as often, the trains drive themselves around the house, too- track-free. They visit the cars in his bedroom, the kitchen counter, etc. They drive all around searching for places to explore- and I, like you, have to remember that exploration is part of the game (even if I would prefer they stay on the track!)

2. ~claudia [7/20/09]

As I glance at blocks & pattern cards, Legos & puzzles, and books & couch cushions strewn around every inch of the front living room of our house, affectionately called “the toy room” to distinguish it from “the tv room”, I will not sigh in anxiety of needing to clean it up but instead remember the pride and happiness in my 5yo and 2yo’s expressions of “Look what I did, Mama!”

3. Courtney [7/27/09]

I am an engineer so the need to plan and have everything neat and orderly is even more for me. I have the hardest time letting my 2 and 4 year olds just build however they want and not care that it doesn’t match up in the end. I purposely force myself to do it though because I know it is what is best for them. I have come a long way since those first building blocks were used by my son though. I was terrible with those. This article made me smile a little to know that I am not the only one to struggle with it.