As a parent, you might have days when the only privacy you get is five minutes locked in the bathroom, furtively reading a magazine on the toilet. From the minute you wake up (often to the poke of a hungry child) to the minute you fall into bed exhausted after reading 36 bedtime stories, you are working. Sound familiar?

We all need relaxing spaces where we can let go and just spend some time alone. Even for just a few minutes! Time spent alone is precious and makes you a more relaxed parent.

Where in your home, garage or yard can you create a happy space for yourself?

Even if it is just a corner dedicated to your stuff, find a spot where you feel safe and calm, where you can be uninterrupted and that you can visit regularly when you feel stressed or overwhelmed. Make sure to let your family know that you would appreciate their respecting your area and you would be willing to help them claim a corner for themselves too.

What can you do in your happy space?

• Meditate, pray or dream


• Write in your journal


• Read magazines or a book without someone turning pages for you!


• Keep a small altar or shelf with your sacred/special objects


• Use aromatherapy for soothing your stressed mind


• Sew, knit or crotchet


• Focus on a favorite hobby - my husband works on vintage motorcycles


• Build something! Your garage might be best for this…


• Draw, sketch or paint (even if you don’t think you are an artist)


• Make and post a collage of your goals and vision for your life


• Listen to favorite music with a nice set of noise-canceling headphones

Consider helping your children create a similar space for themselves. All you need is a comfy cushion or beanbag chair and a few special objects like a favorite stuffed animal, book or toy. Place some photos or posters of familiar people or places on the wall nearby. When they are feeling cranky or over-stimulated, a visit to their happy space might help them center and feel calmer. Remember, this is not a place to be used for time-outs (if you do that) or taken away for punishment, or to make anyone feel banished. Your child might actually prefer that you stay in the space with them and listen to their feelings. Also, when your child goes to their special space, it can be an indicator of a stress or problem you’ve overlooked.

By teaching your children to recognize the signs of stress and learn self-soothing techniques, you are equipping them with tools that will last their whole lives. And when you are loosing your patience or feeling frustrated, just send yourself off to your own special place. Once your family understands the benefits, they will happily let you go!