We all have days we wish we could blot out with a giant eraser. Maybe you lost your patience and yelled at your kids, maybe you fed them mac-n-cheese and plopped them in front of the TV because you were exhausted (and then hid in the bathroom for a good cry), or maybe you ran around in circles all day and still got “nothing” done.

What do you tell yourself on your bad parent days?

What we tell ourselves is very important. Do you have a little voice in your head that sometimes says things like:

You are not doing a good job.

You are failing your kids.

Why can’t you keep it together?

If so, you are certainly not alone.

As humans, we give meaning to everything. It is what makes us emotionally complex and able to learn, but it also causes unneeded stress. Imagine how different it would be if you could just observe what happens and not judge yourself. What if you could learn from your mistakes and keep your self-esteem intact? What if you always recognized that you were doing your best?

Isn’t that what you would want for your own kids?

I think a wonderful approach to our own mistakes as parents is to treat ourselves like we want to treat our own children. You want to encourage your kids, offer them guidance and support, not shame them or make them feel “bad.”

For example, when your toddler has an accident in his training pants, you lovingly pat his back and say, “Its okay buddy, you used the potty three times already today.” Or when your teenager fails a test, you might ask him what kind of support he needs to be more successful at school. You focus on what he needs rather than what he did “wrong.”

You are a learning and growing parent, just like your kids. Give yourself the compassion and encouragement you need to thrive and be your best.

How can you give yourself a break today?