Everyone wants to be a good parent. You probably wouldn't be reading this blog if you weren't looking for new ideas and insights on your parenting journey.

You might have read various parenting books, observed your friends, learned from your own parents and taken a parenting class or two.

Today, there are many sources of information that define what makes a parent "good." It has not always been this way. The challenge can be that many of them say something different or conflicting. And sometimes these ideals and philosophies conflict with the realities of your life.

Have you ever had the experience of getting stuck between an ideal and the reality of your own situation? Perhaps you dreamed of co-sleeping with your baby until she was born - and then found either she or you slept better alone. Maybe you extensively planned a home birth - only to end up in the hospital. Did you think you would be more patient and never lose your temper with your kids only to catch yourself boiling over?

Because parenting is so tied into our emotions, we can be very hard on ourselves! We often set impossibly high standards and then feel like we have failed when we can’t reach them. So many parents carry around a sense of guilt or worry that does nothing to make them more present and attentive with their kids or even detracts from their experiences.

I truly believe that the best kind of parent is a happy parent: one who is at peace with their self, knows they are doing the best they can and continues to lovingly challenge themselves daily to grow and stretch.

Being flexible, creative and listening to your own instincts can go a long way towards helping you actually enjoy parenting. Remember, this is not a test! It should be fun, at least most of the time.

And when you are actually enjoying being a parent, even if you aren’t being the perfect “natural” parent or living up to every one of your ideals, your kids are happier and feel more secure!

Think about the last time you truly enjoyed being a parent. What was the situation? What was your mindset? Who or how were you “being” as a parent? What kind of support did you have?

What do you need to be a happy parent? Be mindful in your daily activities and note the things that really work for you and your family.

The next time you compare yourself to another parent you think is doing a better job, feel “less than perfect,” judge yourself or feel guilty, recall a happy parent moment and take the necessary steps to replicate the dynamics that brought that feeling of contentment.

You, and your family, will be happier for it.