Does talk of wills, power of attorney, guardianship, and trusts make you nervous? Relax - getting your legal affairs in order to ensure you have planned for the future needs of your children in case of an unforeseen accident isn't as confusing as you think. Attorney Candice N. Aiston, Esq., who works with families to plan for prosperity and protect their loved ones, is here to explain the documents that can save surviving family members, particularly children, major legal troubles in the event of your untimely passing. So take a deep breath and envision the world you could leave behind - it's the first step to preparing your family for whatever the future may hold.

Tranquil Parent: What are the most important legal documents for parents to have in place to care for their family?

Candice: There are three documents that are absolutely essential for all families:

1. Will: Every parent should have a will that appoints a guardian and an alternate guardian. As a mother, I cannot imagine that while dealing with the sadness of losing their parents, my kids would be placed in foster care while a court decides where they should live. The right attorney will help you to set up a Guardianship Plan and assist the appointed guardians in legalizing the guardianship should it ever be necessary.


2. Advance Directive (Healthcare Proxy or Living Will, in some states): This is the document that spells out your wishes regarding illness and death. You can appoint a Representative or Agent to carry out your wishes. Remember Terri Schiavo? Her case would not have dragged on for all those years if she had put her wishes in writing. This is especially important if you want your agent to be someone who is not your legal spouse.


3. Durable Power of Attorney: This document allows the person that you designate to have access to your finances in the event that you are seriously incapacitated or injured. This is really important if your child's guardian will need immediate access to funds in order to care for the child. It also makes things easier when a spouse needs to access funds in the event of the other spouse's incapacitating illness or injury.

Some families should have a trust, depending on your family situation and value of assets. It can save you a lot of time and money by avoiding probate, which can be very costly.

Tranquil Parent: What can parents do to make sure their kids are cared for in the way that they would want?

Candice: There are four different ways that parents can make sure their kids are taken care of, should the unthinkable happen.

Choose the right guardian. You should sit down with your partner/spouse and discuss the following questions:

• Does the person like your kids?


• Do your kids like the person?


• Do you have similar parenting styles?


• Do you have similar values?


• Do they have sufficient financial resources?


• Is the person financially responsible?


• Is the person's location satisfactory?


• Is the person in good health?

Make sure that you have a financial plan. This is usually done by purchasing life insurance. For a small investment each month, you can provide for your family for life. The last I checked, you can get a $1 million policy for under $100 per month. Look at what it costs to raise your kids and the things you want to provide, such as college or a wedding fund. Consider whether one parent would need to pay for childcare if the other parent passed away or if you would want to pay off your mortgage with the proceeds.

Have a proper Guardianship Plan. This means more than just appointing a guardian in your will. My office draws up a Guardianship Plan for our clients and sends letters to every guardian named so that everyone knows what to do in the event of an emergency. We even give our clients emergency cards to carry in their wallets, so that authorities are alerted that you have children and who they should call to pick up the children. Guardians are told that they should contact my office in so that we can carry out the legal steps necessary to make the guardianship official.

Write Life Letters™. Life Letters™ are letters that you write to your guardians and to your children in order to guide them through life. I encourage clients to keep a journal with their Estate Planning Binder with these letters written in them. It's a good idea to use the first few pages to think about the immediate things that the guardians should know. Does your child have allergies? Is there a specific thing that the guardian can do or say to comfort your child? Put that right in the beginning. Then, consider all of your values and all of the hopes and dreams that you have or your children and start writing them down for the guardian and for your children.

While no parent wants to dwell on the thought of a tragic accident or illness, think about the peace of mind you will have with these choices made and fundamental documents in place. Make a New Year’s resolution to begin the process or refine your current will today.

Candice N. Aiston, Esq. also writes an information-packed blog for families.

As a busy parent, you are probably great at multitasking. You have to be, right? Often, doing several things at once is a survival skill. But you also know how easy it is to get overwhelmed and how difficult it can be to complete anything. Sometimes the list just seems so long…

When you find yourself overwhelmed and short on time, try the following exercise:

1. Choose something that would feel really great to make headway on or that deserves your attention for more than just a few moments. You don’t have to complete the whole project, just give it some undivided attention.


2. Set a timer for 20 minutes and commit to doing that one thing with focus and intention for the entire time.


3. Stay present with your task and don’t let your attention waver or your mind create any judgment. Being hard on yourself is not going to help you right now!

Setting aside 20-minute blocks of time to focus intently on one task, one project or one activity can surprise you. And you might find that in one day, you can create several 20-minute blocks of time and they do add up!

Here are some ideas of what you can do with 20 minutes of focused attention:

Organize

• Find a small area of your house that is bugging you. Maybe it needs a deep clean, a serious de-clutter or a little bit of sprucing up!


• Do a whole house sweep. Grab a bag or box and rush through the house, grabbing all the clutter. Then take your box and put everything away. If you haven't used something for awhile, set is aside for donation.


• Sort and recycle stacked up mail, a pile of papers or your files.


• Clean out your email box or computer desktop. That feels really good!

Self-Care

• Crank up some tunes and dance for 20 minutes. This can be a real workout!


• Do a quick power walk around the block.


• Grab a book, pick a quiet corner and request 20 minutes of peace and relaxation from your family.


• Meditate, pray or stretch.

Vision

• Have a 20-minute brainstorming session about something that has been on your mind. Don’t let your pen leave the paper and jot down every thought you have, even if it doesn’t seem relevant.


• Dig out that dusty journal and spend a few precious moments dreaming about a creative idea you have been brewing, write a story or record a memory.

Relate

• Spend 20 minutes with your kids following their lead. Color, play with clay or read a story of their choosing. Commit to staying attentive and focusing all your attention on them. If your mind begins to create a grocery list or focus on a problem, remind yourself that you can do that later!


• Invite your partner to share a 20-minute active listening session. Split the time equally and you each talk about something important to you for the entire time with the other person listening (no comments, questions, or trying to "fix it"). Look into your partner’s eyes when they are talking and thank them for sharing. If you want to, you can also repeat back what you heard them say and offer some empathy or understanding for their feelings.

This won't take the place of longer sessions but it will give you a jumpstart. You will feel more proactive and productive and it can get your creative juices flowing! You might think 20 minutes is not long enough to do anything very well. The trick is to be very focused and mindful.

We love bins and baskets. We can throw - or advise smaller versions of ourselves to throw - toys and books into them for quick room cleaning.

Here’s a round-up of some of the more attractive bins and baskets on the market right now. You may want to order some as gifts for your home. The new toys are coming.

Woven felt baskets in red, blue, or green (pictured above), on sale at Pottery Barn Kids for $19.99 are one of the most attractive storage options I’ve seen. They are manage to look both handcrafted and high-design at. They’d fit into almost any décor. And at 12 inches square, they also fit into the cubby-style furniture that so many families favor.


Colorful woven nylon baskets from the Container Store are on sale for about $15. Their squared shape makes them useful for storing books or toys. The handles are great for moving them from room to room.


The cutest of our round-up, these totes from Clutter Free Kids include outside pockets, perfect for tucking away a special toy that merits more loving storage. The sturdy nylon totes come in a variety of patterns, and are generously sized at 16"x13".


This 13"x15" fuzzy storage bin is a steal at $13. I like the whimsy of the design - something practical, but cuddly.


These collapsible cotton canvas cubes - sold in a set of three, in sizes from 12" to 16" square - are affordable, attractive, and unobtrusive. $30 for a set of three at Space Savers.


Kangaroom's 30"x15"x16"Collapsible Toy Chest, available in pink or blue, gets consistently high marks from consumers. It is made of sturdy nylon panels and can be folded flat for storage when it isn't needed. $45 from Amazon.com.