The official timeline for my Unlimited Sweets Experiment has come to an end. But the drawer has not been closed - I decided to keep the experiment and drawer open indefinitely! My husband and I both think the experiment was mostly a success. And my hypothesis - If I give my two-year-old unlimited access to sweets, she will be less interested in them - was confirmed. But please read my observations below to determine if you think it was a success, and please share your feedback with me!

We established our home's unlimited sweets drawer about one month ago, filling an accessible drawer with jelly beans, chocolate peanut butter maltballs, generic M&Ms, plain chocolate chips, lollipops and gum drops and letting our toddler daughter Jo have unlimited access to it throughout the day, and even at mealtimes, on the suspicion that she might end up integrating sweets into her life better when they were unrestricted. I let the experiment run a bit longer than initially anticipated, mostly because I wanted to confirm that my observations were accurate. A full month allowed me to do that.

How our daughter responded to limitless sweets

Here are our observations of this experiment, with a few tips to follow.

The novelty of the drawer wore off very quickly. I wrote about week one progress in detail here. During this first week, she frequented the drawer several times per day and especially during mealtimes. But during weeks two through four, things really slowed down. On several occasions, she has forgotten about the drawer for several days. And when Jo does remember, she grabs a couple chocolate chips and walks away for the day.

Our daughter is asking for real food more often. This might be a product of her language development and memory, but she has regularly been asking for soup, fish sticks, grilled cheese, peanut butter and crackers, etc. Prior to the experiment, she had only really been asking for snacks, sweets or drinks.

She has continued to devour the vegetables in the garden. Maybe the way vegetable gardens may improve your child’s diet is a topic for another day, but Jo couldn't get enough raw dill, basil, broccoli and peas from our garden, although she knew chocolate was easily accessible. If we served the same vegetables inside the house, she treated these green foods with the same strong appetite.

Her milk and water consumption stayed the same. I was concerned about her overall calcium intake as we started this experiment, but her milk consumption was steady.

Since she could have sweets at any time, she often added them to her dinner plate, but ate both sweets and dinner food. She would nibble on a cookie, then nibble on black beans and back to the cookies. She consistently follows this pattern. I am hopeful that she is beginning to appreciate the different flavors of a wide variety of foods!

We have one last observation to share, too.

Halfway through the experiment, my husband and I realized that we were less interested in the peanut butter maltballs. In the past, these tasty treats have been a serious indulgence for us (or more accurately, overindulgence for us). Prior to the experiment, neither one of us seemed to have self-control with it. However, we stocked Jo's drawer with it every day for almost five weeks. She cares less about the maltballs now. And so do we!

For all of these reasons, we're sticking with an unlimited sweets drawer.

Five tips for trying unlimited sweets at home

If you decide to duplicate this experiment in your own home, I wanted to offer a few general tips:

1. Continue to have ongoing discussions regarding the importance of nutrition, eating in moderation, physical activity, and the role of vitamins in our bodies. If you don't, start.


2. Be a good role model. This is by far, the BEST thing you can do for your kids when it comes to nutrition and exercise. Children imitate our actions on a daily basis, and eating and activity levels are no different. If you can set a healthy example for your kids, they will follow in your footsteps. They will value the importance of eating right and exercise for a lifetime.


3. Brush teeth, often. Dentists say the gummy foods are most likely to cause cavities, so if you include jelly beans or gummy bears in your drawer, stock up on toothpaste!


4. Make up your mind ahead of time about bedtime and the drawer. If you are not going to allow sweets around to bedtime, create a good reason (i.e. sugar leads to cavities, candy keeps you up, etc.). But be prepared. We call Jo the master distractor at bedtime - she thinks of every reason to stay awake past bedtime, so we had to officially close the drawer at 7 p.m.


5. Consider a vitamin. We really like Nordic Naturals Gummies, but choose any children's multivitamin. The vitamin serves as a safety net if your child eats poorly on some days, and it will give you peace of mind.

My daughter is only two and a half years old, so it would be near impossible for me to predict the outcome of a similar experiment for a five-year-old, eight-year-old, eleven-year-old, or even an adult. But I do believe the concept is the same: People generally want what they can't have. And kids are no different!

So what do you think? Was my experiment a success in your eyes? Anyone out there ready to try it at home? If so, tell us your children's ages - and make sure to report back on your results!

Have you ever experienced a tense parenting moment like one of these: Your child is having a meltdown at the grocery store and other parents are glaring at you (why can’t you control your own child?) while you calmly work with your child. Or, your still-nursing toddler asks for more “milkies” on the airplane and you are seated between two older women who look at you in shock as you begin to feed her. Or, your in-laws find out you are co-sleeping with your baby and say, “You know, he will never want to sleep by himself now...” with looks of pained judgment. Whether you describe these practices as attachment parenting or just your personal style of raising your child, progressive attitudes towards discipline, breastfeeding, and sleeping arrangements are all ideas that fly in the face of what many in the post-parent generations knew of as "the right way to do things."

If you are finding intergenerational or parent-on-parent conflict due to your progressive parenting, take heart: You are far from alone! Many parents are choosing a progressive style of parenting, attachment parenting or otherwise, that challenges mainstream ideas. While the personal variations on progressive parenting trends are endless, parents who are putting these ideas into action all seem to have one thing in common: They often feel judged or like they don’t quite “fit in.”

Here are six ways you can reduce pressure on yourself to "perform" for those who disapprove of AP-style parenting.

1. Surround yourself with other parents who are making similar choices. Brainstorm ideas together and support each other when you are feeling challenged. Of course you are going to still have friends and family members who might not agree with (or understand) extended breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, or nurturing touch, but make sure you have enough people in your life who do.


2. When you are challenged by someone about your parenting, don’t defend yourself. This might seem counter-intuitive, but the truth is, you don’t have to explain yourself or your actions to anyone! If you do, you end up trying to justify your reasons which automatically puts you in the position of being “wrong.” Say something simple such as “we are doing what feels best to us,” and move on. If someone is really curious (and not judging you) then you will naturally feel comfortable sharing information.


3. Lighten the mood. When someone questions you by saying “he is still nursing?” make light of it and say something funny like: “I am sure he will be done before high school!” Humor like this can diffuse the energy without accepting their criticism, and also keeps you from going into anger mode - which would only make them feel more self-righteous!


4. Model your beliefs rather than preach them. If you feel strongly about respecting children and don’t feel that spanking is healthy for children, be an advocate for them by showing a different way that works and matches your values.


5. If they won't let it go, ask them questions, with curiosity of your own. Many people have never thought about why they think the way they do. “Why do you think it is good for kids to cry alone in a room at night?” Often mainstream thinking is just what “everyone does” or is based on anecdotal experience or unfounded assumptions. Remember to maintain a non-judgmental attitude, especially if that is what you are wanting to experience in return, but don't be afraid to question the "facts" others challenge you with.


6. Remain open to other points of view, especially if you are feeling unsure of something you're doing. If there is a practice you are following just because you think you should, or because it fits into a larger philosophy you have identified with, but it isn’t really working for you or your child, it might be time to try something new. Often, the choices we are feeling the most defensive about are the ones that we are ourselves doubting. When someone challenges you, it is a great opportunity to reevaluate you own motivations.

What choices are you making in your parenting that are challenging to mainstream thinking? How do you handle being challenged about them by others?

As parents, many of us have experienced this moment: You say cheerfully to your toddler or young child, “it is time to brush your teeth!” and reach for the brush and toothpaste.

“Noooo….” she howls, running out of the bathroom. Or you are greeted with a tightly closed mouth and a sullen face. Nothing you say or do seems to matter. This kid just does not want to brush her teeth. So what do you do?

Maybe you get frustrated and begin the battle. You try to coerce and convince. You chase them around the house, brush in hand. Maybe you get so frustrated (and attached to your idea that it has to happen now) that you pry their little mouth open and brush them anyway, fighting against their resistance.

If you have done any of those things, you probably know it doesn’t feel very good!

You care about your children’s health. You want them to have strong teeth and minimal dental procedures. Brushing their teeth is an act of love, so of course you want it to be loving. Also, you don’t want them to have negative associations with an activity (oral hygiene) that they need to take care of their whole lives.

I recently chatted with some other moms who, like me, are committed to having a respectful, cooperative relationship with their children. Here are some ideas that came out of the conversation about working with kids when they do not want to brush their teeth:

1. Be playful! Find a fun puppet who enjoys brushing teeth and make it a game. Consider buying several toothbrushes with different themes and let your child choose. Use funny voices or songs to make it more interesting. Invite your child to brush your teeth first and then switch and brush theirs!


2. Offer options. Ask your child where he would like to brush his teeth, sometimes changing rooms can be helpful. We sometimes bush our toddler's teeth in bed. If the child is really resisting using the toothbrush, wipe their teeth with a washcloth. Often you can get them just as clean and the change makes it more agreeable. Xylitol toothpastes are another option that can work really well.


3. Share information. By age two, many children can understand some of the reasons behind teeth brushing. Saying simply “we need to get your teeth clean,” might be enough. Or, if you want to give more details, you can explain how little bugs (bacteria) get on teeth and eat tiny holes into them, causing pain. They may want to clean off the bugs! Don't share this if you feel it might scare your more sensitive child.


4. Be flexible! Realize that skipping one night of brushing is not going to be the end of the world. If your little one really needs to say “no” then let it go for a night. You might find much more resistance the next night if you force the issue! If you do skip a brushing, invite your child to rinse their mouth with water or teach them to swish water around in their mouths. They will probably love spitting it out in the bathtub! The most important thing is to put more attention into what they are telling you through their resistance rather than focusing on "getting it done."


5. Create a routine. Many children do not resist toothbrushing if it is part of the nightly ritual from early on when the first teeth appear. Be casual about it, like it’s just one of the things done each night, like putting on pajamas and reading a book. This has been a successful approach in our home.


What works in your home to make teeth brushing easier?